Forging My Own Path...

My birthday is this week and instead of being happy I'm kinda sad. I'm feeling old. Another year has passed and I'm kinda left feeling like what have I done with my life so far??? Isn't that horrible? How lame is that??! At least I can say I'm on the road with my music career though with the fact that I've written, co-arranged and sung my first album. So thats good. But part of me feels like I wish this has happened to me when I was 20. I can't change whats in the past though...but part of me kinda wonders how long will it take me to get to where I want to get to in my music career and how long will I wait to get to where I want to get? It seems like the older I get the more and more people are having babies around me. I'm starting to feel...lonely like I'm the lone soldier trudging thru. I guess I should get used to it though. If you think about it haha most stars wait till their thirties and forties to have kids and I'm sure they felt this often seeing their friends have kids. They just decided to put their career first. I just know that my music would never happen if I had kids early. Its a sacrifice that you have to make. Not making it is not an option for me...not many people dont understand this who are not musicians. I was talking about this to my husband tonight. When your a musician and a songwriter you live and breathe music its in you. If I didn't make it with my music I'm not sure what else I'd do with my life. I'd feel hopeless I think. Sad. Directionless. I'm being completely honest. So not making it is not an option Which is why I didn't mess around when I did my album.

I've always felt kinda alone most of my life...if that makes sense I'm not sure if thats common with most musicians. I like to read books, go to shows, when I go to clubs and bars though I like to just go there to network. I really enjoy hanging out with artists, musicians, bohemians, world travelers and on and on. I feel most at home with them...especially quirky off the wall people. I feel like I can say whatever to them haha.

This whole process has been a lot of faith and I've just had to put one foot in front of the other and I've had to just keep going. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

I started a company where I'm teaching art to kids and I've decided to try and get more business so that I can make my own hours and focus more on my music. So far I have three band members formed and am waiting on the fourth member and once I have that member we'll jam and see how that goes and then we'll start gigging hopefully.

Feeling Greatful...

I'm sitting here listening to Common...I've been over dosing on him for a couple of weeks now haha. I love him so much hes such a great rapper. I would love to collaborate with him in the future if I ever get the lucky chance of ever meeting him!!!

I had a great Saturday yesterday...I went up to SF and met two musicians who were really nice. One is a drummer and the other is a bassist. I gave them copies of my album and then they are going to get a keyboardist and a guitarist together and then we'll jam together probably next week and see how it goes. I think I'm going to have to meet up with all of the producers who are on my album to get all of the samples from my album so that my keyboardist can trigger them off during the live performances. I'm also going to give the background vocals to my keyboardist so he can trigger those too while theres a live performance. This is going to take a while to form...but it will be way worth it. I'm excited to perform the songs on more of an organic level and to be able to free style on all of the songs.

I already have someone thats interested in booking me shows and being my booking agent so thats a huge burden off my shoulders...I never wanted to have to think about having to deal with that. If I had to do all of that I think I would really burn out from all of this process. Its amazing that I've done everything that I have done actually. Its taken a bit longer but its gotten done.

I was thinking today how greatful I am that I was able to do my album at this level...and its only my first. I was lucky to be able to be put in contact with some amazing producers and some amazing hook ups. I just feel so lucky that I was able to give it my all for my first album...I feel blessed today. I dont know whats going to happen tomorrow but I just have to trust that everything will be ok. I'm having my listening party on Friday next week to celebrate my album just with close friends and family. When I get my band together I'll have an album release party hopefully in San Francisco.

I had someone review my album that has a marketing company down in LA. She liked it a lot and thought it was unique. I've decided that I'm going to hire her to do a two month marketing plan for me next year. I'll have to have my band all in place by that time but that should be a peice of cake...cuz I've been pounding the pavement for more than a month now finding musicians. I might have already found some that might work. She would be throwing an album release party for me in LA and inviting some really big names from the music industry to come hear me perform! It will create a lot of buzz around my album from radio stations, producers, labels and on and on. After that depending on the results of that I'll see what my next move will be career wise. So far though I've been really blessed with the contacts that I've gotten and its been largely from someone that has helped me all thru out this process...and you know who you are...

My bday is this Thursday and I had a celebration with some friends and it was so fun. I'm getting to know more and more friends who have become pretty close and I feel really greatful for that. I'm looking forward to meeting more people and expanding my circle! I'm trying to form a support network...if ya know what I mean. Its so important!

K I'm going to go to my parents house to go chill out its kinda my routine every Sunday...I was just sleeping for three hours I usually take long naps on Sunday. I love Sundays!

Come one and all and buy a CD from me at www.amyserrata.com and my myspace site!

Come one and all and buy my album via my myspace site and my website! My website at www.amyserrata.com is up now! It has my bio on there, photos, my album for sale, my blog, a review from a local DJ, DJ Brigidope and so many other things! Once I get a band formed it will have listings of my gigs as well! Anyways I'm so excited I just wanted to post this tonight! I'll keep you guys informed with how things go!

Anything is possible if you let yourself dream enough!

So its interesting what everyone's listening is of me...I've been interviewing people in my life lately and I've been getting interesting responses. Its been scary but its been really helpful at the same time. In some ways its really necessary. At the same time you have to take it as well this is just their view of me and its just an opinion. But at the same time if your commited with making a difference with them its helpful to see how they listen to you and what you can do differently with them to see how you can communicate differently with them so that you can have a different impact on them. I was so scared to hear what my weaknesses are but its funny when you hear them its like oh yeah I already knew that...its funny how we hide behind our weaknesses when all along we know them deep down.

Its so rainy and gloomy out. I love days like this! It makes me want a nice hot cup of hot chocolate! I am on the move today though! I went into work today and then had to do some errands and now I'm about to go to San Jose to go to a class and I'll be there till 10pm. Then its off to work again tomorrow. This week is going to be busy. I'm going to be meeting with at least two drummers that want to possibly play with me. I'm also going to a club on Thursday night to sell my albums with a good friend. I might go to a performance on Wednesday night in Santa Cruz with my husband to see Alice Smith shes so amazing! But its so exciting that I'm actually on my way to forming a band. I'm wanting to start performing!

I just wrote a new song today...I miss writing and arranging. I really miss putting it to instrumentals as well. I liked co-arranging and working along side producers I found that part of it really exciting. Maybe one day I'll learn how to work pro-tools. I'm actually planning on getting a computer and some equipment at my house so that I can do some pre-production at my house so I don't have to rely on anyone to do that anymore. It would be nice so that I could do that on my own and lay down the rough vocals and buy the instrumentals from producers and then when I do the final vocals in the studio it dosen't take as much time since I know what I am going to do on the final tracks. haha I already miss recording. I can't wait till I have enough money where I can own my own studio and I can do that all day long. Sigh. I love this with a passion it runs thru my bones. When you listen to my music all of you friends and family you'll hear it in my music I live and breath it. I put my whole heart and soul into this album. So far everyone thats heard it djs, producers and musicians have loved it. I hoping it continues to do well. When I put my mind to something that I want you betta watch out hehe I work hard.

I'm throwing a benefit concert and will blog about this later this week. I'm really excited about this...I didn't know much about making an album but I did a pretty dang good job for my first album. Now I'm going to be organizing a benefit concert where I'll be working with VH1's save the music's program where I'll be donating part of the proceeds of the conert to that foundation! I'm going to get some local bay area bands that have a big enough following to perform at this concert. So i'll be getting to know booking agents and managers and djs and a lot of people in the biz. I've already met some booking agents already. So i've been going to lots of shows lately and networking. Its been fun. I like doing this actually. Hehe hustling is in my blood. I don't go to these shows to drink...I go there to network all the way. So not only is this show going to be fun but it will be for a great cause! I'm going to have my band put together in time so I will be able to perform at this show as well and I'll be selling my albums there too! Yeah! Its going to be jazz, funk and hip hop bands! Anyways I'll blog more about this later! Laters have a good Monday guys!

"Life is not about finding yourself life is about creating yourself"

I had the best time last night celebrating Halloween! I sold 10 albums last night! It was so funny...people wanted to play my album again and again...I think they played it over and over probably five times...? It was cool playing it and saying that yup...I wrote that and sung that. Well I didn't write all of it producers wrote the background music so I technically co-wrote the background music but I wrote all the lyrics and sung all the lyrics and the back ground vocals. I'm putting the cds on sale on my myspace site and my website next week on Tuesday and we'll see how well it does. I'm praying that it will do well. So far the response has been really great from people.

I'm meeting probably a couple drummers next week in San Francisco next week to start forming a band. I will probably get a keyboardist, a guitarist, a drummer and a bassist. Then for large shows I'll probably get a horn section. So my digital distribution like my i-tunes, rhapsody, imeem, amazon mp3, and myspace mp3 are all going thru in three weeks I think so that will be great. Those will all be posted on my myspace page and my website so that will be good. It takes six to seven weeks to process all of that which I didn't know but well you live and learn. Anyways oh well. Another two or three weeks won't kill me. Anyways people will be able to buy my album thru paypal on my myspace and my website on November 4th so thats cool.

I'm doing a listening party strictly listening people that means I'm just chillin and i'm not performing haha. I'm just going to enjoy the process. Cuz I busted my booty in this process for six months straight. Now I'm going to relax a bit. I'm going out trying to meet musicians to start a band which is not easy people! All of this is not easy. You have to be so determined its not even funny to make all of this happen. I talked to this girl last night and she said she was jealous of me and what I had accomplished...I thought and I was like you can do it too you just have to want it bad enough...you have to have a fire in your belly haha and you have to want it bad enough to fight for it even when the going gets rough. No one is going to get anything done for you in life. People are out there trying to be succcessful themselves ya know? I think thats what made me work so hard...I had to do it for me. But then I also did it for others too...I wrote songs that I felt would touch others...music has to not just be about you...its got to be something about something greater than you. Because to be honest when you break it down you shouldn't be doing it for the money...most artists even major artists dont make much money doing this...even the ones that sell millions of albums...but thats not the point. I'm doing this for a different reason. I'm doing it for the love of it and for getting messages out there to really help people and to make a difference in people's lives.

We all have to make choices in our lives. What are we going to become? What are we going to use our lives for? I met some kids last night who grew up from the same town that I did...I always think its great to meet kids who grew up from the same high school that I went to...I can relate to them...theres this same struggle there. I hope they can become something great. I think there is a lot of pressure to live up to what our parents want us to become or what others see us as...but really at the end of the day we have ourselves to answer to. Its not about pleasing others...its about being happy. I see that a lot with the kids in the area that I grew up with and I really hope that they live fulfilling lives and they don't sell out. I'm glad I didn't sell out. I know there will be hard times ahead because life is hard but I'd rather have peace of mind that I followed my dreams and I gave it all I had. Why follow a life or a road that someone says you should follow just because your dad did it? Thats not your life thats theirs. I read this week on someone's myspace page "Life is not about finding yourself life is about creating yourself" I love that!!! I have been creating myself this year! I've been becoming the person that I've always wanted to be! And I'm really being honest about that! I want to be that old artistic grandma at 80 years old that my grandchilderen can brag about and say yeah shes done this that and that and I want to still be going and doing things and going out and about. Life is not about finding yourself its about constantly reinventing yourself and creating your world around you! It takes a lot of strength to do that...because there are no rules when your doing that...but thats also the exhilerating part of it as well.

My album is coming out next week

My album is coming out next week I'm getting my 1,000 copies next week from Rainbow Records...finally! Its been a long time coming! I've applied for digital distribution from Tunecore and am waiting for that to be approved by them. They said that can take up to two weeks or more. Its been one week so far we started the process last Sunday. So I'm just waiting patiently for them to get back to me. For now all I can do is wait on that. My website should be up next week and it is a sapphire blue color reminiscent of the 1920's with a classic jazz flair to it. It has a picture of me with a flower in my hair and black leather gloves. Totally chic.

My master plan for after that is forming press kits to send out to people in the music business with biographies, press write ups from magazines, photos and a copy of my album for them to listen to to start creating a buzz. I'll be putting up my album up for sale on my website and my myspace page and will put up links on my myspace page with links to get to i-tunes, amazon and my other stores to buy my music. I've been looking into promotional and marketing companies as an option for the future to promote myself as well as distribution deals. But first thing is first which is a band. I have to find a band before I can get signed to a deal hehe. I have been going out a lot to clubs and venues networking and meeting musicians to try and form a band so I can start gigging around in the bay area. That will be the next step which will be starting to create a local buzz by performing at live shows and forming a local fan base. I think I'll need to get a booking agent eventually to help me book shows so that I dont get burned out doing that.

All of this has been super overwhelming. There are days when I literally have to just take a day off and just try and decompress or it all just really gets to me. There are times when I get into major funks and come up with reasons why I can't do this. I have people that ask me sometimes how does your husband feel about this? My husband supports me in pursuing my dream and I wouldn't be doing this of course if we haven't talked about it. Ha duh. It takes two to make a marriage work. But you will always get people putting their standards or ideals on your life. I have learned that in the end if I am happy with what I am doing and my husband is happy that is all that matters. You will never satisfy anyone fully. Once you think you have satisfied one person the other will have a different opinion with what you should do in your life. So in the end you just need to pray, and really do what you feel is right for you. We all have our own paths in life. And what a blessing that is?! Lets just support each other and instead of judging each other!!!

I have realized in the past six months that nothing comes without sheer hard work. I have never worked so hard in my life with completing this album except with completing my bachelors degree. That was sheer hard work and determination. Creating this album was amazing and still is. I have so much more to do...and still so much more to prove. I have people that ask me so whats next? You know...I have a plan but like everything I dont have all the answers yet and thats ok too. Just like Alicia Keys or Jennifer Aniston do you think they knew how they were going to get their lucky break or how they were going to become famous? No they just worked hard and took each day at a time. Thats how you do it. haha. No one really cares if you succeed in life. It depends on you. Honest. If you want something you have to go out there and get it. No one will hand anything to you. I really got that when I did my album. No one was going to write my music for me or arrange it for me. I had to do that. I had to sing it. Luckily I had a good friend who introduced me to two of the producers I worked with so that was a big help.

I think we have the tendency and I still do this to just feel so alone and think no one cares whether we succeed or not so why even try so we just don't even try. Thats a sad way to live. I was in that space for a while in my life. But honestly no one will hand anything to you. You have to go out there and get it you have to be hungry enough to take it! Everyone is out there trying to make it on their own.

What does it take to love another and be happy??

What does it take to love another? Do we need to change ourselves or completely be another person? How can we keep ourselves but also be with the one we love? Thats my question for the day. How do we keep that lovin feeling in our relationships when life comes at you in a million different ways. I'm not so sure anymore. Its so easy to get caught up in everything we are doing in life and forget others in the process. Today i'm feeling overwhelmed, emotional and just well feeling very deeply and thinking a lot. What makes someone happy and how do you keep that happiness alive and strong? Can one person do that for you or does it need to be multiple people present to achieve that? What can be done to mend past heart aches so that you can move on with someone living a clean slate and open to new possibilities with them? Sometimes its so hard to forget the past and whos hurt you that you bring that into your own relationships. Lame but so true. It can be so easy to be scared about being hurt and then not wanting to take the risk of really trully giving your all to someone. I've felt that many times in my life. This blog is well a very honest one today. I love blogging about what I'm going thru tho theres a sense of well relief from it when you get it down on paper. Its the same with song writing for me. Believe me when someone pisses me off I'll just write a song about it. If someone makes me happy I'll write a song about that too ha and on and on. This is how we artists deal with things thru our music. Man the life of a musician is not an easy one thats for sure. But I can't imagine living any other life. Its a lot more complicated thats for sure figuring out how to make things work at home but it can be done.

In some ways I think we can't expect others to make us happy. In some ways yes but in other ways no. For instance you can't expect your loved one to go out and do the things you wish you could but your too scared to do and then say well i'm not happy. Well your not happy because you haven't stepped up to the plate. Each person has to make an effort to do whatever they need to do personally to make them happy whether that be going to graduate school, making an album having a baby or on and on and then have their partner reach for what makes them happy as well and support each other in the process. I think if this is done you can both grow together and motivate each other in whatever your doing. I'm a total driver...when I want something nothing will get in my way I'll get it done come hell or high water its just my personality. hehe. Anyways life is damn hard but hehe I just remember what i've been thru in the past and think I can get thru this too. hehe. Thats how I keep going on every day I just remind myself of what I've had go get thru before and then I think yeah thats nothing compared to this etc.