Sunday, November 30, 2008

Yeah I'm on the radio stations!

Wow I just found out that someone that I sent a press kit to in NY loved my album so much that he decided to play my album on his radio station today. He plays his radio station every Sunday in NY. Geraldine Convento who has acted as my A&R for my whole album and my career so far put me in contact with John who puts on his radio station his name is John Brunelli and he puts on a radio station called Breaktime Radio which is called Orchid Milk. He mentioned that my album is really soulful. I have been so blessed to be put in contact with such amazing people who have believed in my music. I wrote my music with such an open heart in the spirit with wanting to help people and I think it is translating that to other people who are listening to it. I guess it is karma so good things are coming my way. I am not taking it for granted by any means. I feel like I am in a complete trance to be honest. The radio station is 90.5 and it will be at 7pm-10pm NY time and at 4pm-7pm CA time. Please tune in to hear my music on the radio station! This is the first time that it will be played on a radio station! It has only been two weeks and already it is on a radio station...this is pretty amazing!

I will be featured on another radio station here in California in January and when I know the exact date and the radio station I will let you all know so you can tune in and listen.

This just shows...that anything is possible if you believe it is! I'm going to keep moving forward with everything else in my music career. Other things that I plan on doing this year are taking voice over classes so that I can do voice overs for commercials and for movies and for anything else that comes my way. I also would like to write music and jingles for commericals and for movies and for other artists. The sky is the limit and I frankly found something that I'm really good at. So now I just need to find how I can get into these other industries and not accept no for an answer and be fearless and unstoppable just like I was this past year in making my album. Someone told me recently that I can just decide that I can just chalk my album up as something that I did for NO. I dont play that way. I'm playing all out. If you think that way you will only fail. The way you think is the way you will become. Anyways the fact that I'm already on the radio stations already tells me that I'm on the right course...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Wow I just had an amazing experience this lady just messaged me and made me realize why I do music...

Wow that was so cool someone just sent me a message who lost a son and somehow she read that I wrote a song called My Baby My Child that was written specifically about that. I haven't lost a child and I have never had a child but somehow that song just came to me. This is why I'm a songwriter and this is why I do music. I do it for others. I do it to to heal others. I've had others tell me recently that they listen to it over and over again. Someone that had their boyfriend in jail told me that she listened to it in one day 20 times because in one line I sing "Why can't they set you free it'd mean so much to me if they'd set you free it'd mean so much to me." Now this could mean to a mother why can't they just give you back to me why can't they police find your body? But it could also mean to a mother or to a lover why can't they get you out of jail? See it has a broad meaning and thats what I wanted. Music is so powerful. Words are so powerful. Again this is why I do music. Its bigger than I am. This is why I want to start performing. Someone told me recently that when someone gives themself totally to the audience and is authentic it means a lot and has a huge effect on others. I want to do that. What she said had a huge effect on me. I already do that in my words and my music. I want to do that in my performances. I can't hold back in that. Whether I become famous or not this is my purpose for doing music. I think if I stay true to this I will do the best I can. Anyways that experience really just touched me. I hope she finds healing in some way or another. Wow keep those comments coming. That just really made me realize why I do this!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Everyone has their own unique gifts and I plan on using mine to the best ability to bless others

I just saw The Secret Life of Bees today with my mom and it reminded me that we all have our own paths in life. We all have our own gifts and as my dad said to me on Thanksgiving what life is about is playing all out in life and using your gifts to the best of your ability. I am me. I am not someone else. I am Amy. I was given my own unique talents and gifts for a reason and if we never try we will never try. I would rather try and give it my all then never know if it was possible.

I always knew that I had a gift of feeling deeply. I think God gave me this gift to use this in my song writing. I wrote this song My Baby My Child and some people have asked me why I wrote it and I have never experienced loosing a child but for some reason it spoke to me. It can be interpreted in so many ways. Loosing a child emotionally. Loosing a child spiritually. Loosing a child physically. Loosing your loved one and seeing them in jail. In the song it says why can't they set you free. These are gifts I plan on using to bless others.

Again we were all born into this life to bless others with different things. Some can bless others with the ability to take care of others. Some have the ability to be great mothers. Some have the ability to love with a great capacity. Some have the ability to dance really well. You get the point. If we compare ourself to others then we are coveting what other people have and that is actually a commandment that God has said that we shouldn't do. My dad was saying to me the other day...that if someone said I want to be like Von and do what he did for a living. They would be a failure because no one can be exactly like me and hes right. Just like no one can write songs like me. Why even try and compare ourselves then? Lets just be happy for other people when they share themselves and when they have success in their lives? Thats what life is about.

At the same point though if people close around me are not happy for me thats ok. That wont make me stop doing what I'm doing and it wont make me angry. Some people have a hard time being happy for other people when they succeed. And honestly some people doubt if something is possible. Some people like to kill possibility and they have a hard time seeing that something might actually work out long term. Thats a really sad state to live in. If you think like that then how can you ever succeed at anything why even try anything then? Literally. I used to question everything and it made me stop doing things but I dont do that anymore I just keep moving. Anyways these are some things to think about. Not everyone will be happy when you succeed but thats ok. Just keep moving and doing your thing. The people who see you as bigger than you are are the ones who are your true friends and who I keep by my side. Those are my true friends.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving- lets think about all of our blessings tomorrow and not focus on what we don't have!

So I'm excited about Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm thinking about all the wonderful things that I'm greateful for that has happened this year. I'm thankful that I conquored my fears and broke free of them and made my album and made my voice heard. I'm still hoping that my album gets the press that it deserves and that more people hear it. There are so many great messages that are in those songs that I really believe in.

I am also thankful for the fact that I believe in myself now. I know now that I can achieve whatever I can put my mind to and all the reasons of why I can't achieve or why people tell you you can't achieve don't matter. Because honestly it comes down to your determination and how you think. If you think you can't do it you probably can't. Every day is a struggle but I'm going to stand for possibility. What I've seen this year is that anything is possible if you just work hard at it. Nothing will be given to you in this life. You have to work hard to get it...but if you want it bad enough you will get it.

I also am greateful friends and family that I have. I hope all of you think about all the great things that you have this week and that you don't focus on what you don't have but rather on what you do have!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I want to extend a challenge to all of you...please read this

I wanted to challenge all of you and think about what you have accomplished this past year and see what you can do more of...where can you be better in your life? I have more goals that I want to achieve and I want to be unstoppable and fearless in 2009! I have to be in order to achieve the things that I want to achieve! I want to extend a challenge to all of you to do the same! Lets play all out guys! Lets be all we can be! Its not too late to start doing it now. I commited to someone yesterday that I was going to make a difference in someones life this week and cause a miracle. And I plan on doing that. I'm still not sure what I plan to do but I'll figure out what I'll do maybe I'll do it tomorrow I have a few things in mind. As human beings we are not made to be unreasonable...but if we start to stretch and grow and extend ourselves we can do some amazing things in our lives. Its when we start giving ourselves excuses as to why things can't be done is when we short change ourselves. Thats when we kill possibilities! Lets take a stand for each other and help support each other in being the best we can be...this is the only way we can become who we need to become. We are all struggling and every day is hard. I want you guys to think about this during Thanksgiving and have you recommit to who you know you can become!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Like father like daughter

I had a pretty interesting talk with my dad today. It never fails to amaze me how many stories he has to tell me. Ever since I was a little girl he'd answer my questions with let me tell you a story and he'd have me listen to the story and I'd have to listen to the story and try and get the moral of the story and figure that out and sense what that meant. I'd usually wait till later in the evening to get into deep conversations which is why he'd do this haha. I really do love live close by my family though its great being able to talk with them and get advice from them. No one knows you better than your parents. For better or for worse huh? haha. I'm lucky though because I get along great with mine.

He told me a story tonight about a family member who was related to my grandpa who was really poor and he ended up coveting his money and it ended up essentially becoming his god. He would not give any money to his grand children on thier birthdays and his thought was he wouldn't give them his money until he died. How sad is that?? What prompted this discussion is because I told him how I visited a girl from my church today and was telling them how everything that we own our cars, our house, our clothes, our money, all of our earthly posessions do not go with us. So essentially none of that matters in the end. What only matters if family, who we become, who we inspire and what legacy we leave behind. Period end of story. They looked at me like wow. Ha its rare that anyone speaks so plain and simple like this. We all get caught up in titles, success, money, posessions and on and on. Thats not what really matters in the end. Thats what struck me this week as my grandpa died. I no longer have any grand fathers or grand mothers. Thats it for me. That whole generation is completely gone. That does something to you and it really puts it into perspective.

I was talking with a friend of mine and she was saying that I'm driven and I figure out how to make things happen even when it seems impossible. Most people would give up but I keep going. I think I get this from my dad. Or maybe its just a Packard thing?? Like I said Like father like daughter. My mom and my sister in law have commented how I'm like my dad in many ways. haha. And the people that can't see that obviously don't know me well enough haha!

I'm about to go to bed soon I have a busy day tomorrow. I'm going to have to work quite a bit this week more than usual since I didn't work enough last week since my grandpa died and things were quite hectic. I'm helping plan the funeral right now. Sigh. Night night.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I set goals and accomplish them whats next?

I had a fun time last night at the club I sold some albums and chilled...something about selling my albums there made it hard for me to chill though haha. I was going around having people hear the album on my ipod and then I'd show them the album and they'd pay for it. You have to be fearless and unstoppable in this business if you want to make it...and I'm not going to let anything or anyone stop me.

I had almost four songs that came to me out of no where yesterday it was an amazing experience. Sometimes when it rains it pours. I was riding my road bike for an hour and I was just singing to myself the whole time. When I came home I started writing down all the lyrics. Then as I was driving to Oakland I got a couple of more songs. All I can say is when I become famous it would be a good thing for me to get a driver I'm not the best driver...I get lost all the time. Haha. Close friends and family can attest to this.

After a couple of crazy two weeks of friends and family dying and after having a crazy past six months of making this album the people who are still here sticking by me are the ones who are my real friends. This past year was a doozy but the people who really stuck by me were amazing. I had some friends that I got really close to who I got to rely on for support during these times and who I am even closer to these days. Life is funny that way sometimes hardships can bring you even closer to people.

I'm listening to Beyonce's music right now from her new album I need to go out and get a copy of it once it gets released. I love her music. She puts on a great show what a great dancer. I want to start taking some dance classes so I can be a triple threat on stage. Beyonce has talked about how she wants to constantly challenge herself and I feel that way about my music. I'm always wanting to push myself to higher heights. I set goals and accomplish them. Whats next? Marketing my album, creating a band, gigging, getting signed by a label, getting a grammy! Haha!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Persistance Pays Off

So my grandpa died last night...and I honestly was sad about it but it was really great that so many family members flew in from all over to be there with him at his last moments. It was great to be with each other and support each other as well. It made me feel really greatful for all of the hard work that my grandma and grandpa had did to help us get to what we have now. I really do have a great life and I often pinch myself...

I was in San Francisco looking around at some people thinking I wonder what these people do for a living that are able to just moosey around at the middle of the day? Are they entreprenuers? haha. Who knows?? I mean don't you ever wonder that?? I do.

Things are going well with my album. I am updating my facebook account and I have almost three hundred friends ha. I get so obsessed with viral marketing...but then again I think its so important to spread the word! Someone tonight that I added went to my myspace page and liked my music and bought my album from that! So it really pays off!

Anyways persistence pays off baby. I'm a fighter. Nothing happens over night though. My dad worked an english program for ten years and it just is barely going through. But persistence again pays off. Who knows how long my music will take. But again I will not give up. If it dosen't happen till my mid thirties so be it. It dosen't happen till then. I'll still be doing it. Thats what people don't get. I'm not going to give this up. I'll still be doin this thing till I'm old and grey haha. Just like my dad does with some of his hobbies and just like my grandpa did with writing. My grandpa used to write so many short stories of his life growing up.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Our legacy does not have to die with can carry on

So I just found out that my grandpa's health is really failing not that I didn't already know this, but we just officially put him on hospice today. And, last week my sister in law found out she is pregnant. I was talking to my dad today and I feel so greatful that even though as time changes that at least as life changes we can bring new life into this world as our old generations die off in our families. I saw my grandma die this year, my fathers mother. And now this year my dad's father will probably pass away. It has made me think about my own parents pass away.

I can see why people want to have kids now so that this tradition can keep being passed on or literally everything will die with us and the chain will die with us. Our legacy will die with us. Something else that I was thinking about today is that we are all human. Its ok to make mistakes as long as we don't dwell on them and we keep moving on.

I want to write a song about this about how we are humane. Its ok to feel and to experience life and to wear your heart on your sleeve at times. Life changes but thats ok..its what we do with change that ultimately determines what kind of people we become. Thats my plug in for today!

Monday, November 17, 2008

We are all unique and thank heavens for that...keep pressing foward guys!

Wow life is funny. I just met someone that I knew from a long time ago. It reminded me how far I have come. I used to think I needed someone to write music for me. I'm so glad I've decided to write music for myself its so much more fulfilling! Anyways there are some other areas in my life where I'm not so satisified ie: like my work icko but I'm hoping that if my album does well enough I wont have to worry about that much longer. Hopefully I will be able to get my band together so I can start gigging. Lets hope that happens fast. My experience in the music industry is most things take much longer than you think they will take. If you want them to be done right at least.

I'm waiting for all of my digital distribution to go through. I'm going to a party this Friday and am excited to sell some of my albums this Friday at Club Anton and just over all chilling and having a good time. I'm sick of just worrying about things going through and having things go through with my music. All I can do is work my hardest and hope for the best. Period. If its meant to be it will be. I'm not going to be afraid to say no to things that won't be aligned with my goals with doing my music too. There have been times where I have felt guilty and I have said yes to things that I have not wanted to do things and I have done them. No longer ha.

Anyways I've met some amazing people lately. I met this lady on Saturday that made a nice impact on me and I was thinking about her on Sunday. She is divorced and has four kids. I often think about how I don't feel related to people sometimes and how I feel lonely at times. She was telling me how she feels that at times but I thought wow if she keeps going in life what excuse do I have?! I think I rarely remember how good I have it. If we forget to thank God for the blessings we have how can he continue blessing us?! Anyways I just wanted to leave you guys with some good vibes this week keep pressing on and doing your thang and keep up living because its worth it. Don't give up hope. We are all unique but thats why we were created. We all contribute wonderful things to the universe and thats why we were created.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Forging My Own Path...

My birthday is this week and instead of being happy I'm kinda sad. I'm feeling old. Another year has passed and I'm kinda left feeling like what have I done with my life so far??? Isn't that horrible? How lame is that??! At least I can say I'm on the road with my music career though with the fact that I've written, co-arranged and sung my first album. So thats good. But part of me feels like I wish this has happened to me when I was 20. I can't change whats in the past though...but part of me kinda wonders how long will it take me to get to where I want to get to in my music career and how long will I wait to get to where I want to get? It seems like the older I get the more and more people are having babies around me. I'm starting to feel...lonely like I'm the lone soldier trudging thru. I guess I should get used to it though. If you think about it haha most stars wait till their thirties and forties to have kids and I'm sure they felt this often seeing their friends have kids. They just decided to put their career first. I just know that my music would never happen if I had kids early. Its a sacrifice that you have to make. Not making it is not an option for me...not many people dont understand this who are not musicians. I was talking about this to my husband tonight. When your a musician and a songwriter you live and breathe music its in you. If I didn't make it with my music I'm not sure what else I'd do with my life. I'd feel hopeless I think. Sad. Directionless. I'm being completely honest. So not making it is not an option Which is why I didn't mess around when I did my album.

I've always felt kinda alone most of my life...if that makes sense I'm not sure if thats common with most musicians. I like to read books, go to shows, when I go to clubs and bars though I like to just go there to network. I really enjoy hanging out with artists, musicians, bohemians, world travelers and on and on. I feel most at home with them...especially quirky off the wall people. I feel like I can say whatever to them haha.

This whole process has been a lot of faith and I've just had to put one foot in front of the other and I've had to just keep going. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

I started a company where I'm teaching art to kids and I've decided to try and get more business so that I can make my own hours and focus more on my music. So far I have three band members formed and am waiting on the fourth member and once I have that member we'll jam and see how that goes and then we'll start gigging hopefully.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Feeling Greatful...

I'm sitting here listening to Common...I've been over dosing on him for a couple of weeks now haha. I love him so much hes such a great rapper. I would love to collaborate with him in the future if I ever get the lucky chance of ever meeting him!!!

I had a great Saturday yesterday...I went up to SF and met two musicians who were really nice. One is a drummer and the other is a bassist. I gave them copies of my album and then they are going to get a keyboardist and a guitarist together and then we'll jam together probably next week and see how it goes. I think I'm going to have to meet up with all of the producers who are on my album to get all of the samples from my album so that my keyboardist can trigger them off during the live performances. I'm also going to give the background vocals to my keyboardist so he can trigger those too while theres a live performance. This is going to take a while to form...but it will be way worth it. I'm excited to perform the songs on more of an organic level and to be able to free style on all of the songs.

I already have someone thats interested in booking me shows and being my booking agent so thats a huge burden off my shoulders...I never wanted to have to think about having to deal with that. If I had to do all of that I think I would really burn out from all of this process. Its amazing that I've done everything that I have done actually. Its taken a bit longer but its gotten done.

I was thinking today how greatful I am that I was able to do my album at this level...and its only my first. I was lucky to be able to be put in contact with some amazing producers and some amazing hook ups. I just feel so lucky that I was able to give it my all for my first album...I feel blessed today. I dont know whats going to happen tomorrow but I just have to trust that everything will be ok. I'm having my listening party on Friday next week to celebrate my album just with close friends and family. When I get my band together I'll have an album release party hopefully in San Francisco.

I had someone review my album that has a marketing company down in LA. She liked it a lot and thought it was unique. I've decided that I'm going to hire her to do a two month marketing plan for me next year. I'll have to have my band all in place by that time but that should be a peice of cake...cuz I've been pounding the pavement for more than a month now finding musicians. I might have already found some that might work. She would be throwing an album release party for me in LA and inviting some really big names from the music industry to come hear me perform! It will create a lot of buzz around my album from radio stations, producers, labels and on and on. After that depending on the results of that I'll see what my next move will be career wise. So far though I've been really blessed with the contacts that I've gotten and its been largely from someone that has helped me all thru out this process...and you know who you are...

My bday is this Thursday and I had a celebration with some friends and it was so fun. I'm getting to know more and more friends who have become pretty close and I feel really greatful for that. I'm looking forward to meeting more people and expanding my circle! I'm trying to form a support network...if ya know what I mean. Its so important!

K I'm going to go to my parents house to go chill out its kinda my routine every Sunday...I was just sleeping for three hours I usually take long naps on Sunday. I love Sundays!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Come one and all and buy a CD from me at and my myspace site!

Come one and all and buy my album via my myspace site and my website! My website at is up now! It has my bio on there, photos, my album for sale, my blog, a review from a local DJ, DJ Brigidope and so many other things! Once I get a band formed it will have listings of my gigs as well! Anyways I'm so excited I just wanted to post this tonight! I'll keep you guys informed with how things go!

Anything is possible if you let yourself dream enough!

So its interesting what everyone's listening is of me...I've been interviewing people in my life lately and I've been getting interesting responses. Its been scary but its been really helpful at the same time. In some ways its really necessary. At the same time you have to take it as well this is just their view of me and its just an opinion. But at the same time if your commited with making a difference with them its helpful to see how they listen to you and what you can do differently with them to see how you can communicate differently with them so that you can have a different impact on them. I was so scared to hear what my weaknesses are but its funny when you hear them its like oh yeah I already knew that...its funny how we hide behind our weaknesses when all along we know them deep down.

Its so rainy and gloomy out. I love days like this! It makes me want a nice hot cup of hot chocolate! I am on the move today though! I went into work today and then had to do some errands and now I'm about to go to San Jose to go to a class and I'll be there till 10pm. Then its off to work again tomorrow. This week is going to be busy. I'm going to be meeting with at least two drummers that want to possibly play with me. I'm also going to a club on Thursday night to sell my albums with a good friend. I might go to a performance on Wednesday night in Santa Cruz with my husband to see Alice Smith shes so amazing! But its so exciting that I'm actually on my way to forming a band. I'm wanting to start performing!

I just wrote a new song today...I miss writing and arranging. I really miss putting it to instrumentals as well. I liked co-arranging and working along side producers I found that part of it really exciting. Maybe one day I'll learn how to work pro-tools. I'm actually planning on getting a computer and some equipment at my house so that I can do some pre-production at my house so I don't have to rely on anyone to do that anymore. It would be nice so that I could do that on my own and lay down the rough vocals and buy the instrumentals from producers and then when I do the final vocals in the studio it dosen't take as much time since I know what I am going to do on the final tracks. haha I already miss recording. I can't wait till I have enough money where I can own my own studio and I can do that all day long. Sigh. I love this with a passion it runs thru my bones. When you listen to my music all of you friends and family you'll hear it in my music I live and breath it. I put my whole heart and soul into this album. So far everyone thats heard it djs, producers and musicians have loved it. I hoping it continues to do well. When I put my mind to something that I want you betta watch out hehe I work hard.

I'm throwing a benefit concert and will blog about this later this week. I'm really excited about this...I didn't know much about making an album but I did a pretty dang good job for my first album. Now I'm going to be organizing a benefit concert where I'll be working with VH1's save the music's program where I'll be donating part of the proceeds of the conert to that foundation! I'm going to get some local bay area bands that have a big enough following to perform at this concert. So i'll be getting to know booking agents and managers and djs and a lot of people in the biz. I've already met some booking agents already. So i've been going to lots of shows lately and networking. Its been fun. I like doing this actually. Hehe hustling is in my blood. I don't go to these shows to drink...I go there to network all the way. So not only is this show going to be fun but it will be for a great cause! I'm going to have my band put together in time so I will be able to perform at this show as well and I'll be selling my albums there too! Yeah! Its going to be jazz, funk and hip hop bands! Anyways I'll blog more about this later! Laters have a good Monday guys!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

"Life is not about finding yourself life is about creating yourself"

I had the best time last night celebrating Halloween! I sold 10 albums last night! It was so funny...people wanted to play my album again and again...I think they played it over and over probably five times...? It was cool playing it and saying that yup...I wrote that and sung that. Well I didn't write all of it producers wrote the background music so I technically co-wrote the background music but I wrote all the lyrics and sung all the lyrics and the back ground vocals. I'm putting the cds on sale on my myspace site and my website next week on Tuesday and we'll see how well it does. I'm praying that it will do well. So far the response has been really great from people.

I'm meeting probably a couple drummers next week in San Francisco next week to start forming a band. I will probably get a keyboardist, a guitarist, a drummer and a bassist. Then for large shows I'll probably get a horn section. So my digital distribution like my i-tunes, rhapsody, imeem, amazon mp3, and myspace mp3 are all going thru in three weeks I think so that will be great. Those will all be posted on my myspace page and my website so that will be good. It takes six to seven weeks to process all of that which I didn't know but well you live and learn. Anyways oh well. Another two or three weeks won't kill me. Anyways people will be able to buy my album thru paypal on my myspace and my website on November 4th so thats cool.

I'm doing a listening party strictly listening people that means I'm just chillin and i'm not performing haha. I'm just going to enjoy the process. Cuz I busted my booty in this process for six months straight. Now I'm going to relax a bit. I'm going out trying to meet musicians to start a band which is not easy people! All of this is not easy. You have to be so determined its not even funny to make all of this happen. I talked to this girl last night and she said she was jealous of me and what I had accomplished...I thought and I was like you can do it too you just have to want it bad have to have a fire in your belly haha and you have to want it bad enough to fight for it even when the going gets rough. No one is going to get anything done for you in life. People are out there trying to be succcessful themselves ya know? I think thats what made me work so hard...I had to do it for me. But then I also did it for others too...I wrote songs that I felt would touch has to not just be about you...its got to be something about something greater than you. Because to be honest when you break it down you shouldn't be doing it for the money...most artists even major artists dont make much money doing this...even the ones that sell millions of albums...but thats not the point. I'm doing this for a different reason. I'm doing it for the love of it and for getting messages out there to really help people and to make a difference in people's lives.

We all have to make choices in our lives. What are we going to become? What are we going to use our lives for? I met some kids last night who grew up from the same town that I did...I always think its great to meet kids who grew up from the same high school that I went to...I can relate to them...theres this same struggle there. I hope they can become something great. I think there is a lot of pressure to live up to what our parents want us to become or what others see us as...but really at the end of the day we have ourselves to answer to. Its not about pleasing others...its about being happy. I see that a lot with the kids in the area that I grew up with and I really hope that they live fulfilling lives and they don't sell out. I'm glad I didn't sell out. I know there will be hard times ahead because life is hard but I'd rather have peace of mind that I followed my dreams and I gave it all I had. Why follow a life or a road that someone says you should follow just because your dad did it? Thats not your life thats theirs. I read this week on someone's myspace page "Life is not about finding yourself life is about creating yourself" I love that!!! I have been creating myself this year! I've been becoming the person that I've always wanted to be! And I'm really being honest about that! I want to be that old artistic grandma at 80 years old that my grandchilderen can brag about and say yeah shes done this that and that and I want to still be going and doing things and going out and about. Life is not about finding yourself its about constantly reinventing yourself and creating your world around you! It takes a lot of strength to do that...because there are no rules when your doing that...but thats also the exhilerating part of it as well.