Everyone has their own unique gifts and I plan on using mine to the best ability to bless others

I just saw The Secret Life of Bees today with my mom and it reminded me that we all have our own paths in life. We all have our own gifts and as my dad said to me on Thanksgiving what life is about is playing all out in life and using your gifts to the best of your ability. I am me. I am not someone else. I am Amy. I was given my own unique talents and gifts for a reason and if we never try we will never try. I would rather try and give it my all then never know if it was possible.

I always knew that I had a gift of feeling deeply. I think God gave me this gift to use this in my song writing. I wrote this song My Baby My Child and some people have asked me why I wrote it and I have never experienced loosing a child but for some reason it spoke to me. It can be interpreted in so many ways. Loosing a child emotionally. Loosing a child spiritually. Loosing a child physically. Loosing your loved one and seeing them in jail. In the song it says why can't they set you free. These are gifts I plan on using to bless others.

Again we were all born into this life to bless others with different things. Some can bless others with the ability to take care of others. Some have the ability to be great mothers. Some have the ability to love with a great capacity. Some have the ability to dance really well. You get the point. If we compare ourself to others then we are coveting what other people have and that is actually a commandment that God has said that we shouldn't do. My dad was saying to me the other day...that if someone said I want to be like Von and do what he did for a living. They would be a failure because no one can be exactly like me and hes right. Just like no one can write songs like me. Why even try and compare ourselves then? Lets just be happy for other people when they share themselves and when they have success in their lives? Thats what life is about.

At the same point though if people close around me are not happy for me thats ok. That wont make me stop doing what I'm doing and it wont make me angry. Some people have a hard time being happy for other people when they succeed. And honestly some people doubt if something is possible. Some people like to kill possibility and they have a hard time seeing that something might actually work out long term. Thats a really sad state to live in. If you think like that then how can you ever succeed at anything why even try anything then? Literally. I used to question everything and it made me stop doing things but I dont do that anymore I just keep moving. Anyways these are some things to think about. Not everyone will be happy when you succeed but thats ok. Just keep moving and doing your thing. The people who see you as bigger than you are are the ones who are your true friends and who I keep by my side. Those are my true friends.

Happy Thanksgiving- lets think about all of our blessings tomorrow and not focus on what we don't have!

So I'm excited about Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm thinking about all the wonderful things that I'm greateful for that has happened this year. I'm thankful that I conquored my fears and broke free of them and made my album and made my voice heard. I'm still hoping that my album gets the press that it deserves and that more people hear it. There are so many great messages that are in those songs that I really believe in.

I am also thankful for the fact that I believe in myself now. I know now that I can achieve whatever I can put my mind to and all the reasons of why I can't achieve or why people tell you you can't achieve don't matter. Because honestly it comes down to your determination and how you think. If you think you can't do it you probably can't. Every day is a struggle but I'm going to stand for possibility. What I've seen this year is that anything is possible if you just work hard at it. Nothing will be given to you in this life. You have to work hard to get it...but if you want it bad enough you will get it.

I also am greateful friends and family that I have. I hope all of you think about all the great things that you have this week and that you don't focus on what you don't have but rather on what you do have!

I want to extend a challenge to all of you...please read this

I wanted to challenge all of you and think about what you have accomplished this past year and see what you can do more of...where can you be better in your life? I have more goals that I want to achieve and I want to be unstoppable and fearless in 2009! I have to be in order to achieve the things that I want to achieve! I want to extend a challenge to all of you to do the same! Lets play all out guys! Lets be all we can be! Its not too late to start doing it now. I commited to someone yesterday that I was going to make a difference in someones life this week and cause a miracle. And I plan on doing that. I'm still not sure what I plan to do but I'll figure out what I'll do maybe I'll do it tomorrow I have a few things in mind. As human beings we are not made to be unreasonable...but if we start to stretch and grow and extend ourselves we can do some amazing things in our lives. Its when we start giving ourselves excuses as to why things can't be done is when we short change ourselves. Thats when we kill possibilities! Lets take a stand for each other and help support each other in being the best we can be...this is the only way we can become who we need to become. We are all struggling and every day is hard. I want you guys to think about this during Thanksgiving and have you recommit to who you know you can become!

Like father like daughter

I had a pretty interesting talk with my dad today. It never fails to amaze me how many stories he has to tell me. Ever since I was a little girl he'd answer my questions with let me tell you a story and he'd have me listen to the story and I'd have to listen to the story and try and get the moral of the story and figure that out and sense what that meant. I'd usually wait till later in the evening to get into deep conversations which is why he'd do this haha. I really do love live close by my family though its great being able to talk with them and get advice from them. No one knows you better than your parents. For better or for worse huh? haha. I'm lucky though because I get along great with mine.

He told me a story tonight about a family member who was related to my grandpa who was really poor and he ended up coveting his money and it ended up essentially becoming his god. He would not give any money to his grand children on thier birthdays and his thought was he wouldn't give them his money until he died. How sad is that?? What prompted this discussion is because I told him how I visited a girl from my church today and was telling them how everything that we own our cars, our house, our clothes, our money, all of our earthly posessions do not go with us. So essentially none of that matters in the end. What only matters if family, who we become, who we inspire and what legacy we leave behind. Period end of story. They looked at me like wow. Ha its rare that anyone speaks so plain and simple like this. We all get caught up in titles, success, money, posessions and on and on. Thats not what really matters in the end. Thats what struck me this week as my grandpa died. I no longer have any grand fathers or grand mothers. Thats it for me. That whole generation is completely gone. That does something to you and it really puts it into perspective.

I was talking with a friend of mine and she was saying that I'm driven and I figure out how to make things happen even when it seems impossible. Most people would give up but I keep going. I think I get this from my dad. Or maybe its just a Packard thing?? Like I said Like father like daughter. My mom and my sister in law have commented how I'm like my dad in many ways. haha. And the people that can't see that obviously don't know me well enough haha!

I'm about to go to bed soon I have a busy day tomorrow. I'm going to have to work quite a bit this week more than usual since I didn't work enough last week since my grandpa died and things were quite hectic. I'm helping plan the funeral right now. Sigh. Night night.

I set goals and accomplish them whats next?

I had a fun time last night at the club I sold some albums and chilled...something about selling my albums there made it hard for me to chill though haha. I was going around having people hear the album on my ipod and then I'd show them the album and they'd pay for it. You have to be fearless and unstoppable in this business if you want to make it...and I'm not going to let anything or anyone stop me.

I had almost four songs that came to me out of no where yesterday it was an amazing experience. Sometimes when it rains it pours. I was riding my road bike for an hour and I was just singing to myself the whole time. When I came home I started writing down all the lyrics. Then as I was driving to Oakland I got a couple of more songs. All I can say is when I become famous it would be a good thing for me to get a driver I'm not the best driver...I get lost all the time. Haha. Close friends and family can attest to this.

After a couple of crazy two weeks of friends and family dying and after having a crazy past six months of making this album the people who are still here sticking by me are the ones who are my real friends. This past year was a doozy but the people who really stuck by me were amazing. I had some friends that I got really close to who I got to rely on for support during these times and who I am even closer to these days. Life is funny that way sometimes hardships can bring you even closer to people.

I'm listening to Beyonce's music right now from her new album I need to go out and get a copy of it once it gets released. I love her music. She puts on a great show what a great dancer. I want to start taking some dance classes so I can be a triple threat on stage. Beyonce has talked about how she wants to constantly challenge herself and I feel that way about my music. I'm always wanting to push myself to higher heights. I set goals and accomplish them. Whats next? Marketing my album, creating a band, gigging, getting signed by a label, getting a grammy! Haha!

Persistance Pays Off

So my grandpa died last night...and I honestly was sad about it but it was really great that so many family members flew in from all over to be there with him at his last moments. It was great to be with each other and support each other as well. It made me feel really greatful for all of the hard work that my grandma and grandpa had did to help us get to what we have now. I really do have a great life and I often pinch myself...

I was in San Francisco looking around at some people thinking I wonder what these people do for a living that are able to just moosey around at the middle of the day? Are they entreprenuers? haha. Who knows?? I mean don't you ever wonder that?? I do.

Things are going well with my album. I am updating my facebook account and I have almost three hundred friends ha. I get so obsessed with viral marketing...but then again I think its so important to spread the word! Someone tonight that I added went to my myspace page and liked my music and bought my album from that! So it really pays off!

Anyways persistence pays off baby. I'm a fighter. Nothing happens over night though. My dad worked an english program for ten years and it just is barely going through. But persistence again pays off. Who knows how long my music will take. But again I will not give up. If it dosen't happen till my mid thirties so be it. It dosen't happen till then. I'll still be doing it. Thats what people don't get. I'm not going to give this up. I'll still be doin this thing till I'm old and grey haha. Just like my dad does with some of his hobbies and just like my grandpa did with writing. My grandpa used to write so many short stories of his life growing up.

Our legacy does not have to die with us..it can carry on

So I just found out that my grandpa's health is really failing not that I didn't already know this, but we just officially put him on hospice today. And, last week my sister in law found out she is pregnant. I was talking to my dad today and I feel so greatful that even though as time changes that at least as life changes we can bring new life into this world as our old generations die off in our families. I saw my grandma die this year, my fathers mother. And now this year my dad's father will probably pass away. It has made me think about my own parents pass away.

I can see why people want to have kids now so that this tradition can keep being passed on or literally everything will die with us and the chain will die with us. Our legacy will die with us. Something else that I was thinking about today is that we are all human. Its ok to make mistakes as long as we don't dwell on them and we keep moving on.

I want to write a song about this about how we are humane. Its ok to feel and to experience life and to wear your heart on your sleeve at times. Life changes but thats ok..its what we do with change that ultimately determines what kind of people we become. Thats my plug in for today!