The things I did for others on Christmas and some goals I'd like to achieve in 2009

Well I ended up delivering Christmas dinner to two families in a town that is really struggling. Unfortunately one of the families was not at the address that I had for them so I'm thinking about donating the dinner to a woman in a near by battered woman's shelter. I've never been abused thank heavens but my heart really goes out to women who have been emotionally and physically abused. It felt great to help out some of the families that are really struggling. This is really what Christmas is all about. I think its easy to get caught up in what do I have and I may not have enough to donate to others. Not true. In many times we have more than we think.

Someone said that if we are positive in life we can radiate that and it will effect everyone around us. What a profound comment. A lady at church said that and it really struck me because it is so true. I am commited to do that in 2009 and as a friend of mine says to get off it. I love surrounding myself with people that are supporting me in what I want to achieve in my life and vice versa I do the same for them. In reality if we surround ourselves with people who see us as bigger than who we are and what our potential is it can really help us grow. I keep those people like that really close to me.

In 2009 I am commited to being fearless and unstoppable in achieving my dreams. I do not want fear to get in my way in anything that I want to succeed at. Ultimately if we decide that we can not do something then we probably can't. Its up to us to be our own cheer leader and to continue on relying on our own strength. Not everyone will be there for us to carry us through in life. I've really realized that this year and have grown a lot. 2009 will bring about a lot of positive changes in my life I can just feel it and whatever they are you have to embrace change because often more than not things happen even better than what we thought they were as long as we are striving to become better in our life. I wanted to share some of these thoughts with you.

Helping others is what christmas is all about!

Well one more day and its Christmas. I'm going to be delivering food, presents and jackets to three families in East Palo Alto. This is really what christmas is all about. The three kids are from a school in Menlo Park that Condelica Rice set up but it is full of kids from East Palo Alto. I knew the principal who was introduced to me thru a mutual friend. I was never really exposed to that...and I cried while I was there. It was truly moving and it motivated me to make a difference in some of these kids lives. If I could I'd help transform that whole school. But for now I'll start small. Again if I make it with my music I'm going to give back big time. I think the more you have the more responsibility you have to give back. I drove back to Mountain View and I literally felt like crap. I realized that not everyone lives like this...I felt really spoiled...compared to these kids in East Palo Alto. They have a huge hurtle to climb. The sad thing is that no one donates to this school that live in Menlo Park and Atherton. The school is in Menlo Park...when I heard that I just thought wow its intersting how consumed we get with our own materialism and we forget about the little people. My grandma was always thinking about other people. I really dont care what color or religion you are...we all need help especially in these times. I look forward to meeting these families and seeing their faces when I give them these gifts. Anyways have a merry christmas guys and remember that family is whats important at these times!

Take action in your life and you will be satisfied and happy in your life!

Wow I had such an amazing time in NY while I was there with my husband. My husband is from Queens. There is just an amazing feel there. We went to Manhattan almost every day and walked for at least three hours every day. I can see why most of the women there are so skinny hehe. While we were there I was able to meet some pretty famous producers and DJs and give them my album which was really exciting. NY has so many famous musicians just at your finger tips and its almost like people take it for granted there. I would love to live in Queens or Manhattan in the future when I make it in the music business hehe. I'd love to get a big flat in Soho or Tribecca.

Ever since I had a class last night in San Jose and they asked what are some areas in your life where you are not feeling satisified and complete? I realized what some of these things are and I have a new commitement to really attack those things and to make things happen this year. I have a huge commitment in making things happen. Its funny because while I was in NY my husband's best friend told my husband that I am a completely different woman since the last time he saw me which was last year. Its all because I'm not angry or resigned about my life because instead of waiting for things to happen to me I'm in action and doing them now! I'm happy. My teacher last night challenged us to work on these areas in our life and create break throughs. I also realized last night that all the reasons of why we tell ourselves why something is not possible are made up and are just part of our fantasy. They are what holds us back from achieving a lot in our lives. After seeing the many miracles that I've experienced in my life this year I've realized that anything is possible in life if you just take a stand for your life.

I've had a blast in NY but I'm ready to get back home to Cali!

Dude i'm so tired right now. We've been walking for like two to three hours every day in Manhattan. My legs and hips are really sore. I went to the Guggenheim museum today in Manhattan and was pretty dissapointed. The exhibitions there were lame. It was the kind of art where I was like what? I dont get it. Anyways so I kinda feel it was a waste of thirty six bucks.

I had a great time last night going to the club APT last night and I got to meet Prince Paul who has worked with Jay Z, Queen Latifah, De La Soul and so many other people. Supposedly hes good friends with Chris Rock and produced a bunch of music for him. Hes working on a childerens album right now which I think is kinda interesting. He was super chill and down to earth which was really cool. I gave him my album and he said that he would get back to me and give me feed back on it. So hopefully he does get back to me...and he likes it. Its crazy how many famous people are accessible here in NY. The weird part is how New Yorkers dont take advantage of that. Its like they take it for granted. Its weird. Maybe its because they dont really care that they are famous and they are just unphased about it all? Who knows! But for me I'm like dude lets network and I dont get intimdated with talking to people even if they are famous. At the end of the day they are just people and they often face many similar problems as us.

I'm going back home to California on Thursday and am excited to come home. I miss being in my own bed and being at home. I really miss my animals too hehe. My cats are going to be so needy when I get home.

I really do love New York though. If I ever moved here I'd probably live in Kui Gardens in Queens its so nice. Its full of really nice homes that look like Palo Alto. All of the homes are super old and full of charachter. Not only that but they are much cheaper than homes in California. Prices for California homes are crazy. Plus its only thirty minutes from Manhattan. I'm going to start doing voice overs and teaching art classes in 2009. I'm so motivated with getting my band together and start gigging as well.

I think when you see that anything is possible in life it really changes your thinking. Its interesting because I am seeing some people that have kinda given up on their lives and they are resigned and cynical. Its so sad for me to see people like that. Now that I see that anything is possible....I'm taking that into the rest of my life. Other people have commented at how I'm completely a different person now. I haven't seen any of my husband's friends for a year now. This year has been really tough but instead of getting over whelmed by things I have learned from my mistakes and I have really progressed.

Going to NY and reflecting on my Grandpa's funeral that happened today...

Well today I'm going to NY and I'm going out there to be with family but I'll also be going out there to network with some people in the music business. I'm excited to make new connections and to meet with new people. I'm always excited to be in new places and to experience new things.

On a more somber note...today was my grandpa's funeral and even though it was a sad experience and I cried quite a bit it was great to see a bunch of family and cousins here that helped support each other. Its always moments like these that make us reflect on who we are and what we have become. This is my fathers father so he essentially started this whole lineage! If it wasn't for him I would not be here. He raised four amazing sons that are still living here and carrying on his legacy. He can now live with his wife who passed away six months ago. I'm not sure who reads these blogs but I hope they make you think about how important family is...something that touched me today was how they shared about how my grandpa felt about how you had to leave fear behind in your life and that you just had to live life and you just had to be! I have learned so much about that this year! I have worked so hard on my album...and I plan on continuing to work so hard still to achieve more and more. I have so many dreams and mile stones that I want to achieve in the music industry. I want to do it so that my stories and messages can touch other peoples lives! My grandpa was a story teller and an amazing writer and this gift was passed on to me but the only difference is I'm a song writer. Anyways instead of being sad I'm happy because he really did live an amazing life and we all have so much to look forward to in life. He left behind an amazing family. He struggled a lot in his life but he over came a lot of things. What an example he was to all of us.